"i think something is wrong with me. i dreamt about you-know-what last night"

"poo?"
"yes"
"hahaha -- in whose bed this time?"
"oh right! i forgot about that one. this time, it was at the library. in a miniskirt. i thought i was sitting on a special toilet chair -- like your mom's"
"couldn't you run to the toilet -- there's lots of them at the library"
"i thought i was using the chair... but when i looked in, it wasn't there. then i saw my poop on the floor. looked like a timbit"
"and does any of this translate into real-life morning laxitivity? or are you really really constipated? eat my all bran!"
"so i try to kick it away, non-chalantly"
"buy some broccoli. metamucil"
"then it rolls towards these little boys playing on the floor. and they giggle"
"don't tell me..."
"so i run over, pick it up –– with tissue of course"
"they eat it?"
"uh no, that would be gross. interesting how marz thought the same thing. you guys are sick. so i picked it up. and it was the size of a STEAK -- in fact, it looked like STEAK"
"and the shape of one too? lol"
"yes. then i threw it in a real toilet"
"good girl. if that isn't a hint from your body i don't know what is"
"my body is telling me i need more steak?"
"no, less meat"
"but i like meat!"
"so do i -- no more bacon at chateau nice!"
some things you just can't joke about

from the Dream Dictionary entry on Feces:

To see or come in contact with feces, signifies aspects of yourself that are dirty and negative and which you believe to be undesirable and repulsive. You need to acknowledge and express these feelings, even though it may be shameful. Release the negativity in your life. Alternatively, it may also refer to someone who is anal retentive.
To dream that you are unable to dispose of the feces, suggests that you are unwilling to let go of your emotions. You have a tendency to hold in and keep your feelings to yourself.
According to Freud, feces is related to possession, pride, shame, money/financial matters, or aggressive acts.