Friday, October 27, 2006

Rain or shine, we're slaughtering pumpkins at high noon tomorrow. If it's raining, the action will take place indoors with Vakuum unplugged. If it's sunny, we party outdoors and rock the neighbourhood.
Here at the Chateau, the knives are being sharpened and pumpkins are cowering in the corner. Tomorrow... we carve.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Punkinpalooza 2006 - The Wrath of Squash
- High Noon, Sat Oct 28

Event: Punkinpalooza 2006

Location: Château Nîce

When: Saturday, October 28, 12:00pm

Even on short notice, The Château delivers gourd-throttling mayhem. We would never, ever, let Hallowe'en pass without murdering a few innocent pumpkins... and wash em down with mulled cider!

Q:: What is Punkinpalooza?
A: A pumpkin carving contest. THE pumpkin carving contest. Where agriculture meets artistry, surrounded by candy and booze. An event to shock and awe the ages. An afternoon of good times and good eats -and of lustful and merciless squash-violation.

Q: Will Punkinpalooza 2006 - The Wrath of Squash - rock as hard and loud as last year?
A: Find out for youself. Come to the Chateau at 12-noon next Saturday and watch as the neighbourhood explodes in squash-bludgeoning fury. If you're bringing little kids, make sure they pack earplugs.

Q: Are there prizes?
A: Do pumpkins exist, only to be hacked into bits? Yes.

Q: What time does it really start?
A: Noon. Really. Ok, 1pm. But arrive at 3pm and we will flay you into a steaming pulp of bones and piss. If you come at 11am to help us set up we'll spare your life and favour your jack-o-lantern.

Q: What can I bring?
A: It's a BYOB. Ie, Bring Your Own Blade. And Pumpkin. Munchies and desserts will be provided, and booze - enough to get you hot and bothered to rock the gourd. Uncork the wine and unsheathe your blade. Also bring a camera - you'll want to capture the carnage. (last year's photos: )

Q: Do I need a costume?
A: No you do not. Dress up if you like. Dress up as a pumpkin, and you will be murdered.

Q: Can I really bring kids?
A: Yes, but there will knives and booze. Mixed together. Yes, please bring them!

What the press says:
"Participants drink from the trough of abundance - wine flows like pumpkin juice, and pumpkins flow like water. The Palooza is a grand moment for the happy, a bewildering moment for the serious, as all gaze upon the Chateau and thank Allah that the Age is so enlightened. Gourd-throttling maniacs praise the heavens and sing hosannas, and there is wetting of floors with effusiveness of tears...."

Synonyms for murdering pumpkins:
Blast to smithereens
Stomp into pulp
Violate with extreme prejudice
Assault with knife edge
Stab (repeatedly)
Puree (into paté)